Pardon This Commercial Interruption

I really don't want to sound like a commercial, but I realize that's how this is going to sound. So, yeah, I apologize in advance.

On most days, I fix a big healthy salad (recipe below) for my lunch. I have Hidden Valley Light Ranch dressing with it. I've eaten this light low-fat dressing for several years now. It's good, especially for a light dressing, but not as good as regular full-fat dressing, of course. (And for the record, both the regular and the light versions of Hidden Valley Original Ranch are the best-tasting bottled ranch dressings. I haven't tried the nonfat version, though, so I can't comment on that one.)

So, okay, here's the part that's going to sound like a commercial. Recently I open a new bottle of Hidden Valley Light Ranch dressing and am startled by the delicious — yes, delicious — dressing. Not merely good, but delicious. I look at the label to be sure I hadn't accidentally bought regular ranch dressing. No, the label says "Hidden Valley the Original Ranch Light Dressing." I take another bite of my salad. My tastebuds have a little party. This tastes as great as regular full-fat ranch dressing. I pick up the bottle again. Yes, it says "Light" right there on the label. And on the back label. And on the label wrapped around the neck. Has Hidden Valley reformulated its light dressing? If so, this could revolutionize salads! Imagine, a light ranch dressing that tastes exactly like a regular full-fat ranch dressing! I reread the label. Nowhere does it say "New! Improved!" Hmm, I say to myself, perhaps this bottle was accidentally mislabeled. If that's the case, when I open the next bottle, I'm going to be awfully disappointed and I'm going to have to get used to merely good dressing again instead of great dressing.

And now I'm in a quandary. Do I call Hidden Valley customer service and risk sounding like some cheesy beer commercial: "Um, yeah, my new bottle of light ranch dressing tastes really great. Have you all added extra flavor to your light ranch dressing, or maybe did a batch of regular ranch dressing get the wrong labels?"

I have such a hard life.

*********** *********** *********** *********** *********** *********** ***********

Lisa's Big Healthy Salad

• 2–3 cups of torn romaine lettuce
• freshly ground pepper
• 1 tablespoon of Hidden Valley Original Ranch Light dressing
• 2 thin slices of good-quality deli turkey, cut or torn into bite-size pieces
• ¼ cup of shredded carrots
• ¼ cup of frozen corn or peas
• 2 tablespoons of dried cranberries
• ½ large apple, chopped (save other half for tomorrow, in a zipper bag with a splash of lemon juice)
• ¼ cup toasted pecans (spread on a cookie sheet, bake in preheated 350° oven for 10–15 minutes, until you can smell the toasted nuts; let cool; store in an airtight container in the refrigerator)

Put romaine lettuce into a one-quart bowl, add freshly ground pepper to taste and the dressing. Mix thoroughly so the dressing lightly coats all the lettuce. Mixing this way is the secret to being able to use much less dressing on your salad without sacrificing the flavor of the dressing. Add the remaining ingredients. Enjoy!